Love. Are we missing its essence? We say love in expressing our deepest affection. We say love as well very conveniently for the sake of ending a sentence, spicing it up, cute-ing it up, rephrasing it to a <3 or xoxo. I’m pretty sure we all mean it when we say it though it gets confusing when we use it in many different times. I love my dogs. I love my iPhone. I love my dad. I looove the new Kate Spade. And so on. But, love ain’t just words.
Try to define love. Go to Webster’s online (www.m-w.com) you’ll find how many definitions for love as ‘noun’, yet very little for love as ‘verb’. Coincidence? See, this is what I have in mind. Could it be that generations behind and ours now has been putting the spotlight to love as a feeling (therefore the ‘noun’)? Seeking instant pleasure from that butterfly-feeling? Could it be that we’ve been finding it hard to explain love more than just simply a feeling? Could it be that we’ve come further away from realizing that (in Gary Chapman words) “love is not merely an emotion that comes over us”? See, if we think of love as a feeling, we shall be frustrated when we can’t always work up that feeling. When we realize that love is primarily an action, we are ready to use the tools we have to love better.
Love is primarily an action.
This is not new. It’s there since the start, but how many of us missed the point. Love the ‘noun’ – the feeling – is the result of love the ‘verb’ – the action. So I took the initiative to take a short-simple survey on how people define love. I tweeted this “tweets, im writing a piece for a blog. simply help by answering this 'in your own words' (not quotes): Love is _________ *thanks =)” And here some of the hand-picked replies. I’m going to the conclusion after.
Love is when a friend got hurt bcause I'm not sensitive,but she chose to send me a letter and much much of ice-cream,rather than mad at me :) (KB, Jakarta)
Love is when dad voluntarily gave a ride to mom to bandung, coz she was craving for bola2 ubi (KB, Jakarta)Love is when my sister save her money to give me the present that I've been drooling to (KB, Jakarta)
Love is parental guidance :) and love is me and my sis missing each other all the time even tho we live together. (ES, Sydney)
Love is waking up 5 am in the morning to write birthday wishes on the pavement in the rain, just to brighten up her day.
Love is believing in someone even when everyone else thinks u're jz wasting ur time :) (AC, Jakarta)
Love is wen sme1 wna watch a movie he has watchd 2times b4 cuz d most important thing isnt d movie but being wid d girl he loves (PP, Jakarta)
Love is my sister staying up late until 2.am to open the front door for me, knowing my mom wouldn't, and be very mad even if she would (JM, Jakarta)
Love is when some1 wna sleep in the car in front of my house so that d next day we can be together d whole day ;) (PP, Jakarta)
I believe by now, you get the idea I’m trying to put across here. Verb? Action? Notice them? Now see how blunt it can be when we describe love as a feeling, and no, this is not the reflection of the person stating it, but I think this is as far as everyone can go in trying to explain love – the feeling:
Love is the feeling that give us happiness. I guess. Haha (S, Medan)
Love is a drug, hahaha (M, Melbourne)
(photo courtesy of axioo)
Receiving love is the beautiful result of loving others. Bear in mind that line and that “love is primarily an action” when you’re starting a relationship. And I’m speaking about courtship mainly. Don’t, please don’t get carried away by that butterfly feeling, but know that love takes something more than that. Love takes an effort. Be knowledgeable, so that you don’t have to face the common difficulties in your relationship after the first-couple-months-of-bliss pass away.
And even when you do face them, my heart burdened to share this. When you start losing that ‘happi-as-a-hippo-moments’, when he seems distant, when she lose track in busyness, instead of falling into “This starts to get like a routine” or “I’m sorry I just don’t love you no more” , dwell into actions. Start doing love, instead of craving for that feeling. Learn from the simple tweets above. Receiving love is the beautiful result of loving others. Love – the feeling – is a fruit of love the verb. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions.
So the good news at the end is … love, the feeling, can be recaptured.
thank you :) :) :)
ReplyDeletei got a great feedback from ES, i feel i have to share this: @captainruby and i suppose it's only natural, since we can't read each other's hearts, so we have to act them out for each other :)
ReplyDeletei got a great feedback from ES, i feel i have to share this: @captainruby and i suppose it's only natural, since we can't read each other's hearts, so we have to act them out for each other :)
ReplyDeletewaaa! very true! :) Awww... mushy all over deh jadinya haha.. thanks, by :)
ReplyDeleteits awesome! make me realized that maybe i was also losing the essence.me like: "if we think of love as a feeling, we shall be frustrated when we can’t always work up that feeling"
ReplyDelete